Kind of a screw up :S

Ok so I think I have just taken the grand prize on ways not to make a good impression in your new job! So like it has been said before I got a job on the TOC list in Merritt, so yay for me. I registered for this workshop, because a) I thought it would be interesting (although i had no idea what it was about I was told the speaker was amazing) and b) I thought it would be a good way to meet teachers in the district. Anyway so the schedule of the weekly events for workshops this week was given to me, and for some reason I had it set in my mind that the workshop was on Wednesday. So I was all set for my very long day tomorrow, being that I would have had to leave my house at like 630am. So I was on my computer double checking that I knew how to get to the place etc. I had the address, the map of how to get there, I felt prepared. And then I checked the actual schedule to see what time it was on, and yup it was 8-12.. so we are good to go right? Nope because the workshop isn't tomorrow it was TODAY! I feel like such an idiot. I don't know how I screwed that up. I knew it was the 29th, but i just thought that was tomorrow. I guess I should have clued in, when I was signing something to mail today and the 29th seemed oddly familiar to me. Now I know why. Seriously I am such an idiot! Way to make an impression! But I emailed the guy who registed me, and apologized and explained I got my dates mixed up. At least I took the blame for my own mistake...

shopping day in Kelowna

So this morning my sisters Paula and Julia, and Julia's friend Jen thought it would be fun to go to Kelowna for the day for a day of shopping. So we got up kind of early, and hit the road about 830am.. It was a beautiful day for driving, and we had some fun tunes to sing along to for the car ride. We spent a few hours shopping in the mall, looking at all the things that we wanted but probably couldn't afford. I held back since I don't really have any money. However, I did buy a top from The Gap. It isn't very often I go in there and find things I like.. even though I see people who have cute clothes from The Gap all the time. Once we had done a few laps at the mall, we decided to venture downtown because Julia wanted to go check out Lululemon. Normally when I go to Kelowna I go as far as the mall and then go back home. So it if fairly straightforward. So going downtown was a whole new adventure! Although it wasn't as bad as we expected. So we went into the store, and I just admired the clothing from a far, because quite frankly I can't buy a zip-up hoodie that is worth $86! But Julia did buy me a cute little headband!

Then we decided to hit starbucks, since who doesn't need a little kick to their afternoon! And then then we drove home, so that poor Jen could have a quick nap before working a graveyard shift tonight! The drive home was a blast, I believe there was a bit of singing and interpretive dancing happening in the back thanks to the lovely Julia and Jen. But it was a good day.. Gave me a chance to clear my head a bit and think of something new for a change... Although I would only be lying to myself if I said that my mind didn't wander just slightly.... But the shopping was fun, and if I had the money I probably could have bought more!

So I know before I did an entry on how some songs really get to me.. or make me think. Well this song by James Blunt, although slightly older now, it has sort of hit really close to home lately... I was listening to the words and I was like wow, that is exactly how I feel... Anyway so I searched for the lyrics to read them, and now here they are ;)

Goodbye My Lover
James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

slowly going crazy...

First of all, let me just say, I hope this entry does not come off the wrong way. I appreciate what my parents have done for me, I really do.... However I am starting to lose my sanity. I got so used to having my freedom and independence, that being at home is a lot bigger of an adjustment than I thought it would be. I know I am not working, (at least until September some time) so the agreement was that I would help my mom out with chores around the house, and I would drive Julia to work and stuff.. I have never once complained. When my mom says can you vaccuum I say sure, and I do it right away. I have driven Julia to almost all of her shifts... So today i was kind of having a lazy day, I slept it, then I worked out, took my time getting ready after my shower, and sort of just relaxed. So this afternoon I crawled into bed to read my book, and I nodded off. Not because I was overly tired, but mostly because that is what reading does to me.... So then I am woken up and I realize it is 630 and it is dinner time. So I go to the kitchen, and my mom had the food served and on the table. Which I love, no cooking is great. But I wasn't feeling overly hungry (could be from the like 12 glasses of water I had today). Anyway so the first thing my dad says to me is "how can you be tired what did you do today". And I just sort of ignored it because I was tired and groggy.. Then he was like well where did you go for lunch if you are not hungry. And I said I didn't go anywhere for lunch.. And he was like oh well then what were you snacking on. And I said nothing... But he just gave me this look! I had to bite my tongue. If I was living on my own, first of all it wouldn't be the end of the world if I had a nap! I think we are all entitled to them once and awhile! And I also probably would have waited to eat until I was hungry... I know both of these things are very petty.... But it is all the things I didnt' ahve to deal with in the last two years. I only had to answer to myself.. I hate when I am going out, and I get asked 101 questions of where I am going. And they hear me come home at night, so I get 101 questions the next morning too.. I need to get out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just keep telling myself as soon as I have a pay cheque coming in I will be able to afford rent.. and then it will be back to my independence... thank goodness.

Torn...

So I am not quite sure how I get myself into these situations, but somehow I just do! I feel like I am torn between what is right and what is wrong. I used to laugh on tv when you used to see a person torn, and so they would have an angel sitting on one side and the devil whispering in the other ear... And honestly that is how I feel right now. i am being pulled back and forth. I have even tried listing pros and cons in the situation hoping that in the end I would realize what the right decision is for me. But guess what that doesn't work... I have turned to friends for advice. And of course they speak from their heart because they care about me. But I dont' want to listen to the advice even though it may or may not be the right thing to do. Although I guess that is the problem there. What the right thing is, and what I want is two different things. I don't know how I have found myself in this ongoing love triangles.... just for the record this would be the second one in less than a month! However the first time around, I sort of asked to be involved, and then kicked myself afterwards. But I got myself out of that situation. This new one, has been sort of an ongoing thing... not always a triangle but always complicated! Sometimes I love my life.......... So as I look left and right I don't know who I want to listen to...

who would have guessed...

Well I think it has been about 2 weeks or so that I have now been back in Kamloops. I love being here, I love the weather, the home cooked meals, seeing my friends from here etc. However, over the last few days I have found myself really missing life in Prince George! Kind of a shocker I know. Especially since almost every day I complained how much I hated it there...... but I miss my friends first and foremost, I miss the trips to Starbucks, I miss my Tuesday night ritual, and I miss my puppies (ok so emma and kobe may not be mine but it is pretty close!) I keep thinking about hopping in my car and making a trip, but then I kindly remind myself that I have no income of money right now, so what is in the bank is all I have til I start working.... so then it brings me back to being in Kamloops and feeling sad because I can't not be with everyone in Prince George.... But I will be back for a visit that is a promise.. just have to figure out when.

interview part 2

Well my mom so kindly offered to come with me this morning. Which made me happy because then I didn't have to fill up my car with gas before the drive (although i should fill up since gas is only 113.0 here yahoo!) and I could stress all I want and not worry about the oncoming traffic! So as we got closer and closer to merritt I became more and more nervous. We arrived kind of early so once we found the board office we took a little drive to check Merritt out. I have to admit it is a cute little town. And we didn't even go to the "city center". So then we went back to the board office and the butterflies kicked in big time.. I went in and asked for they lady who was interviewing me and took a seat on the couch and waited. She came out right away, shook my hand introduced herself and took me to her office. We started off with small talk talking about the weather and stuff, and then she told me she had 13 questions to ask me.. So we went through all the questions and then she said to me........... "well I am going to put you on our TOC list so welcome to the district!" So then I filled out some paper work, and now I guess I just sit and wait for the first call!! She told me that in the years previous those who live in Merritt usually do get the first call before those who commute.. So in the next few weeks I have a decision to make. I can either stay here and commute for now, or move there... I was also told that my name can be on another TOC list as well... so if Kamloops were to hire me that would be an option to do both. But the exciting thing and the most important thing right now is that I am on the list :) So now I just have to get some work... And she gave me information about a workshop that is at the end of the month... I have to go through it and see if anything interests me.. but I am thinking it would be to my advantage to go, start meeting some teachers and stuf... How tacky would it be to have some cards made and hand them out to the teachers there :) haha... Things are finally going my way!!

interview day.. part one

so it is around 8:25am and I have to leave my house in 5 min in order to drive to merrit and find the board office... and my head is just swimming. I found a website yesterday with practice questions which I tried to go over. I also did it for my interview in PG.. it is just nice so that you are not thrown off by any questions.. hopefully.. but i didn't sleep well at all.. i just kept thinking of how it was going to go....... I am bringing my trusty portfolio with me... i figure i put the work into it i might as well show it off... anyway i am off but i will be back to share the end results.

"Eyes Wide Shut"

So the other night my sister and I wanted to rent a movie, and after wandering through Blockbuster there was not a whole lot out on the new release wall that interested us. So we thought that we would rent some old movies instead. One of the movies that we selected was "Eyes Wide Shut" I had never seen it, but I figured I like Nicole Kidman, I like Tom Cruise (well not as much as I did before) and I have enjoyed other Stanley Kubrick movies. So last night Julia and I started to watch it. And by the end of it, I sat there thinking "what just happened here". We both just looked at each other feeling very confused. And had I known there was going to be that much naked Nicole, and other women perhaps we would not have rented it. But I remember hearing mixed reviews when it came out so I wanted to see it for myself. Perhaps I am missing something. If that is the case some one please tell me what the point of that movie was.......

Why I have never taken up golf...

This morning I recieved a phone call from my parents, asking that I drive out to the lake and pick up the dog because I guess she was driving my parents crazy. So I drove out there, stayed for a quick visit and then came back to town so that I could get Julia to work at 1. Then the phone rang again and it was the Loewens inviting me to go mini golfing. Laura is babysitting this girl Rachel and we thought it would be to take her out to do something. So Yvonne (laura's mom) myself, Laura and Rachel headed down to the mini golf course. I haven't been golfing in a long time so I was really looking forward to it. However by the end of the game, I remembered why I have never taken up real golf. I am not very good! At the end of the 18 holes I had the highest score... That means I won right? haha.. I think the lowest par I got on any given hole was 2, and the highest I got was a 7.. oops. It was a hard one. My favorite is when it would roll right back to the begining.
And of course little Rachel thought that was the funniest thing ever. Especially when she got one of the holes towards the end in 2 and it took Laura and I at least 7 strokes. It could have been more, but we stopped counting! After that I came home to spend some time with my poor dog, who was whining for attention. And then the Loewens had me over for dinner since I am currently home alone. It was so good! But the more I think about the golf game today I think I am going to have to challenge them again.. I was out of practice... or at least that is what I will tell myself!

Job Interview :)

Friday night I came home from being out with some friends, and I decided to check my email. I had an email from a woman who works in the Merritt district saying that she would like to meet me for an interview if I was interested. So I wrote back and said of course I was interested. She wrote back and it has been set up for August 18th. I am really excited but also kind of nervous. Interviews make me so nervous. However, I am very excited about this because it means that things are starting to move in the right direction for me. If this district is starting to look at applications I can only hope that the other districts are as well. My mom hopes that I will have everyone want me and then I will get to pick and choose where I would like to work! That would be nice... but who knows. I am just so happy that this is finally happening for me!

Lac Le Jeune

Today was a family event... my parents have decided that they want to go camping since they have not been in years. So today we drove up to Lac Le Jeune (about 20 min or so out of town) to find them the "perfect" campsite.. My sister and i went up with my mom and then my dad followed shortly behind pulling the tent trailer. so we set up camp, and then we had lunch. After we ate my parents continued to set up, so my sister and I were kind of bored so we came back to town. But despite the fact I was freezing up there. It was a lot cooler than I expected it to be, I forgot how much I love camping. Just being outside, I don't really know what it is. But I miss it. We used to go to Scotch Creek every year as a family. But as we got older and us kids got jobs it was harder to do the family events. Plus everything is changed now, and you have to make reservations a year in advance which is kind of annoying. But I miss going for the bike rides along the trails, and playing card games. And I miss going down to the beach, and once and awhile going tubing when our family friends brought their boat.. So I have decided I need to go camping.. perhaps not this summer since it is almost over, but maybe next summer! I get so jealous when other ppl get to go, so maybe next year will be my turn :)

Getting settled

Well today is the second full day in Kamloops. So I am slowly getting used to the idea that I am at home living with my parents!!! It isn't too bad. Although one of the first things my dad said to me was "I hope you are aware of the house rules". At first I thought he was kidding but appearantly not. So I am being on excellent behaviour and doing my best to pick up after myself. Not that I didn't do it before, but there were times when I would say just go to bed without putting say my water glass away or something... but I don't want to rock the boat here! I am going to start helping out with the household chores, I figured it was the least I could do considering I am living here for free!
So today was a fairly easy day. I got up and went grocery shopping with my mom, just to get out of the house and hang out with my mom which was nice. Then I came home had some lunch, and took Julia to work. So then of course I made my rounds at CT easier to do these days because I don't know anyone who works there. But I was offered my job back, so that is good to know that I have something to fall back on while I sit and wait for my teaching job :)
But Kamloops will be good whether or not it will be a long term thing or just for a few weeks... only time will tell :)

Good-bye Prince George

Well two years ago I packed up my life in Kamloops and moved to Prince George to enter the education program at UNBC. But one of the reasons I applied up there was because my best friend Jared was moving up there so I figured I would take the chance so we could go on the adventure together! The time went by very fast. I had my moments where I truly hated Prince George. For example the cement baracades everywhere so that if you take a wrong turn it is nearly impossible to turn around. And I could have done without the cold. However I did meet some amazing people. I don't think I would have ever gotten through that program without my friends. At one point I kind of thought I was just there for school and I would get out as soon as I was done. But as the years went by I grew attached and could see myself making Prince George a more long term place to stay. And I would have if the circumstaces would have been different in regards to teaching. So I spent the last week or so in July packing and dreading the day I had to leave. On the Monday (Aug 7th) my parents arrived with a Budget truck and with the help of a couple of friends we loaded up my whole apartment that evening. Seeing my place empty didn't actually upset me as much as I thought it would.
If anything the hardest part were the goodbyes. As I saw people for the last time, the good-byes got harder and harder. Mostly because I saw the people I was closest to during the last couple of days. The one thing I worried about the most though was saying goodbye to Jared. A lot of my friends said, oh you will see him at Christmas, or it won't be that bad... But I don't think anyone will ever realize what Jared and I have..... I saw Jared right before I left town, and I don't think I have cried that hard in a long time.... So Jer if you are reading this know I love you and miss you like crazy.
So now I am back in Kamloops for the time being, and who knows where this journey will take me next. All I know is that I want to teach and I pray that it will happen for me this September.
As for Prince George, it won't be goodbye forever... I will be back to visit you can guarantee... I have a wedding to go to, friends to see and perhaps even a baby ;) So I will see you all after the snow melts away!!!

So this morning my sister and I got up, had some breakfast and decided that we really need to buckle down and finish the packing since my parents are coming tomorrow. So with the two of us working together we were able to get most of the kitchen packed within an hour. The only problem was we ran out of boxes. Good news is my parents are bringing more with them.


So we were done by 1ish, and we showered and got ready and decided to go see a movie. there is currently not a whole lot to choose from, so we decided to go and see "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby". I didn't go into the movie with high expectations, so that helped a lot. It was an alright movie, it had some funny parts. It was basically your typical Will Ferrell movie. I probably could have waited for it to come to video, but we really had nothing better to do! Plus I enjoy watching race cars, and there was a guy sitting near us who provided extra entertainment.
then tonight we went to Red Robins for dinner (I figured I might as well splurge because I won't be going to one anytime soon) then Jared met us at my place and we watched Big Brother. Then we took his dog Ben for a walk. Or perhaps the dog took Julia, that one is up for grabs. And then we came back here to play Scene It, which I was winning for about 10 min and then I got my ass kicked by Jared. Oh what a thrilling life I lead :) It is just nice to spend some time with jer before I move... Who would have thought i might actually miss PG!

Fondue Goodbye

Well last night a few of my friends threw me a little good-bye get together. We went over to Rachel's house and we had a dessert fondue. So there was tons of fruit, apple dumplings, cream puffs chocolate and caramel. It was an evening to die for because really who doesn't like chocolate! It was a small and quiet gathering but it was nice to hang out with the girls one last time before I head off to Kamloops.
So we ate, and caught up on girl talk, it was good... And then I was up at 530am this morning to go to the Greyhound station to pick up my youngest sister Julia. She is here to visit for a couple of days and help me with the final steps of packing. She is probably going to get dragged around a lot from place to place but it will be fun ;) I feel like I have so many people I want to see one more time before I journey back home... So much to do and so little time to accomplish it all in.

Addicted to the internet??

Well the last week or so I have been having a lot of trouble with my internet connection. It will be working fine, and then the computer freezes, and when I look down at the little box thing, the online light is flashing red. So I usually curse it, turn the computer off and attempt to find something else to do to kill some time. And it normally comes back on with a few hours. At least when it goes out at night it is a good reason to go to bed!! So Tuesday night night it went out just before midnight, and by 4pm yesterday it still wasn't back up and I was going crazy. so I began thinking am I addicted to the internet? In some ways I think I am. See some people use the internet for business purposes, or during the school year I tend to use it for more educational purposes. But most of the time, my internet is my connection to all of my friends! I am usually signed in to msn. It keeps me in contact with all of my friends, from all around the world :) so when I can't come online at any time to chat, or see who is online I start to go crazy. Also my friend Soph and I have this thing where we send each other at least one email a day, so it was driving me nuts not to be able to see what she had to say, and that I could not send her my daily email!! Also this blog has kind of become an addiction. I like to post entries, even if very few (if anyone) read them! It is a chance for me to express what is on my mind.
so lets rewind a bit, yesterday by 4pm when my internet was not working I phoned shaw and sat on hold. I finally got through, and the guy on the phone said that I had a very bad connection, and it was something to do with the cable lines. Like I didn't know I had a bad connection, the internet didn't work!So he told me they would send someone here on Friday. At first I was like ok, gives me a chance to pack with little distraction (haha). However, by some fluke I decided to take a peak this morning and I saw a steady green light, so on went the computer!! Who knows how long it will last, and the guy will be here tomorrow regardless... In the meantime I am happy to say I am back and connected :) And if I truly am addicted to the internet (which I am pretty sure I am)... I just think there are worst things that I could be addicted to!

The Power of Music

So I was driving in my car today on my way to meet a friend for lunch (yes I went out for lunch instead of spending the whole day packing) and I was listening to music and a song came on so I began to focus on the lyrics of the song. The song was a cover, so at first I just was trying to figure out what it was, but then I began to actually listen to the lyrics and I realized that a few of the lines hit close to home. Anyway it made me start to think how powerful music is. Sometimes just listening to a song I find I can relate to the lyrics of the song. For example The Dixie Chicks new song "Not Ready to Make Nice", I realize what the song was written for but it had a different meaning to me. Then there are other times when I will hear a song and it will take me back to that exact moment when I heard that song. One that still sends goose bumps up and down by spine is "I Try" by Macy Gray. Dancing to that song I recieved my first kiss, and something about that song brings everything about that moment back. Or when I hear "I think We're Alone now" I think of the many hours my sister and I spent coming up with the perfect dance routine for the song! Or one of my favorite songs is probably "The Dance" by Garth Brooks. That song not only reminds me of an amazing person, who I was so close to and knew me better than anyone else ever did and ever will. We thought of it as our song. But the song also has a deeper meaning because when I listen to the lyrics it represents the relationship that we had. I wouldn't trade what we had for anything, regardless of the pain it may have caused. But he knows he is still special regardles....And will always hold a very special place in my heart.
Anyway my point is, I just find it amusing how certain songs can trigger different emotions. I know for many song writers, they write the lyrics to songs to express how they are feeling, and it is away for them to deal with their emotions. So I really like the idea that I as a listener can take something from an artists music, and once and awhile enjoy a song for more than a good beat.
I just bought the newest India Arie cd "Testimony: vol. 1, Life and Relationship". It deals with breaksup and heartache. Granted I am not going through, or have been through a breakup recently that I needed this album. But it is a really good cd, I can see how it would have been healing for her to write, and I can see how listening to it would be healing.......
So the next time you are listening to a song......... what does it make you think of?

John Tucker must die!!

So last night I was talking to my friend Stef, and she was like lets go see a movie. And I was like well what is playing. So she listed off our options, and we stumbled across John Tucker Must Die. We had a good chuckle because based on previews this movie could possibly hit a little close to home. So we decided to go check the movie out! So we get to the theatre, and walked in and I looked around and said "I am pretty sure we are the oldest ones here". Besides you know the young teeny boppers who may have brought along their mom's. haha. So the movie begins, and you can't help but laugh. It is one of those cheesy high school movies, but there were some good jokes. I think the highlight of the movie for me was in the begining, and one of the actresses, made a sexual comment (of course I forgot the line by the time I got home) and so Stef and I just start killing ourselves laughing. And no one else did. I think it could because for a lot of these little guys the humour probably went right over their head!


So here is a little run down about the movie for those of you who are not familiar! (probably by choice I am sure). The movie is about a handsome guy who is the most popular guy in school (John Tucker). He is dating/playing these girls all at once and they find out. And they decide the best solution is to get even. So the movie goes through all the actions these girls go through to get revenge.
So like I said the movie is kind of corny, but I tend to like dumb movies like this so it was enjoyable! And if anything else the movie was easy to watch since Jesse Metcalfe is very easy on the eyes!!! I recognized him but couldn't place where. I know he is in Desperate Housewives, but I have never seen the show. Which I regret because I hear nothing but good things about it. But then Stef pointed out that he used to be on passions. Once again it was never a show I followed, but once and awhile I would catch part of an episode, and he looked good then and he looks good now :) Although it was kind of weird to see him in a role of a high school kid. However, he does make a woman's red thong look slightly appealing ;) haha